I looked up at Sean and his eyes were as soft as ever. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
With a smile on his lips. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
When he looked at me, it was like I was the only person in his world. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
But I knew he was not going to be mine. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I looked at him and asked, “Do you want me to go to your wedding?” <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
“I respected your choice but my wedding was on the island. It is going to be hard to get there by boat.” Sean answered. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
So gentle. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
He thought so for me. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
But why my heart hurt so much? <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I looked at him with a wry smile. “You are a great actor. At this moment, I think you are telling the truth.” <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
“I am telling the truth.” <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Sean said that seriously. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
There seemed to be some firmness in his expression. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
He sat down and pulled me to sit on his lap. I wrapped my hands around his neck and frowned slightly. “I really hope everything is as I guess.” <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
“What did you guess?” <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
“You really love me, but you have enemies and you are afraid they will hurt me, so you choose to leave me.” <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
At this point, I put out all my childish imagination. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
He raised his hand and patted my hair on the top of my head. “Maybe it is true.” <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
“You don’t have to lie to me.” I shook my head. “If you think about it, you never said that you love me, only I express my feelings blindly…” <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
“I will say it now.” His hand pressed me harder slightly. He took me close to him, put his thin lips to my ear, and said, “I love you.” <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
In that second, my tears fell again. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
My tears, like broken beads, couldn’t stop. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I pushed him away and said with tears, “Stop. I’ll take it seriously.” <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
It just made me feel worse. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
But Sean had no plans to stop. He held me in one hand and clasped my back with his other hand to kiss my tears. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I heard him say, “Do not cry, I will be sad to see you cry.” <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I cried harder when I heard him. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
He kissed my tears. In the end, the thin lips fell on my lips, with a strong smell of tobacco, mixed with the unique breath of men. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
At this moment, I had no resistance to him. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Just an instinctive response. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I could feel something changing a bit where I was sitting, and soon I heard the man’s movement of unfastening the belt buckle. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
“No.” <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
No! <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I knew we can’t do this! <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
“I want you. For the last time, we make love hard.” <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
His one hand was on my waist, and he quickly unbuttoned the buttons on my back … <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Last time? <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Let me indulge myself. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I knew I was sorry about Cindy, but… <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
That day, Sean and I made love from the office, the lounge, from the sun to the sunset, and I fell asleep in his arms. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
And then I woke up by Daisy’s phone. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
She asked where I was. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I looked at the empty double bed I was lying on, and suddenly felt like I had an unreal dream. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I said, “I am outside. I will be right back.” <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I hung up on the phone and sat up from my bed, and my uncoordinated body reminded me that things really happened during the day. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I saw a new suit on the sofa. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Sean always did that. He always prepared things for me. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
This must be the last time. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
When I changed my clothes and went out, Sean did not leave. He stood in front of the huge French window and smoked. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
There were already cigarette butts on the ground. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
It appeared that there were more than twenty. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Was he just standing here smoking? <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I looked at his sculptural face, and there seemed to be sorrow in his deep eyes. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
The light on the opposite floor shone through the glass as if it had painted a layer of light on him. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
So pretty. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Sean really looked great. In my eyes, there was probably no better man than him. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
What is more, he was so gentle and so nice to me… <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
But after today, everything was gone. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
“Awake?” I stood there for two minutes before Sean found me coming out. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
When he spoke, he was already as indifferent as in the morning. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
He saw me and seemed to look at an unrelated person. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I looked at him neatly, and couldn’t adapt to his change at all. After a while, I said, “Well, I’m awake so I’ll go first.” <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
As I said, I went out with my bag. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
His voice came from behind me, “What’s the secret you said?” <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Did he remember? <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I looked at him, hesitated, and said, “I will write a note and put it in a wedding gift. Since Mr. Jessop has been deceiving me, then I just hope that you can live with guilt after seeing this for a while.” <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I didn’t expect him to feel guilty all his life. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
As long as he felt guilty for a while, then I felt like my victory. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I walked out of the building. It was ten o’clock in the evening. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
There were few cars outside. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Instead of taking a taxi, I walked home. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I needed to calm down. Sean’s reaction just made me wonder why his acting skills were so good. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Did all successful people manage their faces well? <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I just got to the intersection and saw a white car parked there. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Cindy got out of the car. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
When I saw her, I couldn’t help but panic and pulled the collar subconsciously. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Cindy saw me and did not seem to notice anything unusual. She greeted me as usual. “Miss Carter, where are you going? Can’t you find a taxi? Do you need a ride?” <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
“Ah.” I looked at her, and felt guilty, and said embarrassingly, “No, I just take a walk.” <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
As I said, I wanted to leave quickly. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
But Cindy suddenly came over, “Miss Carter, since I met you, I don’t need to call you.” <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
“Well?” <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I looked at her. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Cindy said with a light smile on her face, “My friend said he has found the right house to move in the day after tomorrow. You just need to find a time to go through the house transfer formalities with me and return the money to me.” <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
“So fast?” I was a little surprised. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
“Well, you said it was a gift from your grandmother, and now that your grandmother is dead, I know this house is important to you, so I urged him. As long as he has money, his rental house is still easy to find.” <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Cindy explained it to me with a smile. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
She made me feel even more guilty and ashamed of what I had done. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
At this point, I made up my mind and said to Cindy, “Well, thank you. Miss Lewis, I wish you and Mr. Jessop happiness. I think I will leave York after a while.” <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
“Actually you don’t have to leave.” Cindy was talking, then her eyes moved from my face to my back. She said, “Sean, are you off work?” <\/p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I looked up at Sean and his eyes were as soft as ever. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
With a smile on his lips. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
When he looked at me, it was like I was the only person in his world. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
But I knew he was not going to be mine. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I looked at him and asked, “Do yo<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/extnovel.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1304"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/extnovel.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/extnovel.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/extnovel.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/extnovel.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1304"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/extnovel.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1304\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/extnovel.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1304"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/extnovel.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1304"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/extnovel.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1304"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}